The folks at MindBodyGreen know a thing or two about relationships: The site published hundreds of pieces this year full of invaluable love advice. One of the biggest relationship trends of 2017? Anything goes. From questioning monogamy (thanks to Esther Perel’s best seller The State of Affairs) to people being more open than ever (sexuality is a spectrum, right?), it seems it was the year of redefining love. Here are two of the website’s biggest takeaways from 2017:
If you want real love in a relationship, you need to look inward first. Metaphysician Laura Brown writes: “When we love ourselves fully, it means we accept ourselves. We must acknowledge that our bodies, minds, and hearts have gotten us to where we are and should be loved and respected. When we do this, we will begin to make choices that reflect this love. Instead of choosing just any old date just so we can be out on a Saturday night, we hold out for someone who is worth all that we have to offer.” The upshot? You can’t be in a healthy relationship until you have a healthy relationship with you.
Learn how to “fight right”
Fighting in a relationship can be healthy and cathartic—if you do it right. Relationship expert Linda Carroll, MS, recommends sticking to one topic, rather than arguing just to win. “You are not in a courtroom,” she writes. “The more evidence you produce that your partner is unreasonable, unreliable, and a jerk, the more he or she will respond negatively, as anyone does when ‘under threat.’ Stay on topic rather than making it personal or attacking your partner’s character!”